Rejection is a heavyweight that hurts us to the core, it weakens our spiritual and emotional muscles. This heavyweight destroys the very person that we are, bringing down our self-esteem and sabotaging our purpose in life. God’s love is a powerful and available tool, to help us face rejection with hope and boldness.
For many years, I lived under the cloud of rejection. I have a history of abuse. I was hurt by people close to my heart. To be precise, I was openly rejected, and my social skills were impaired. I saw potential relationships through the eyes of rejection. I vowed to protect myself from more pain; I built a wall of protection and painted it with a false smile and a don’t care attitude. Inside, the heavyweight was sucking my mental and emotional strength. Rejection whether big or small hurts deeply. My engagement with self-criticism made my pain worse.
After many years of feeling sorry for myself, I realized that I had a choice; either I keep sinking low in the “pit” of rejection, or embrace God’s love, which is an essential healing tool.
MY TIPS ON DEALING WITH REJECTION
- I decided that those who rejected me in the past, in the present, and in the future are in the minority. Making up my mind to focus my energy on the majority who embraces me, propelled me to the healing direction.
- Those who reject me, choose to view me negatively for reasons known to themselves. I have no desire to ruminate on why they reject me or rejected me. I choose to embrace who I am on my own terms and conditions; regardless of what they think about me.
It’s important to remind myself that I’m not the first person to be rejected. Jesus Christ was despised and rejected. He did not sink low, he survived through the power of the Holy Spirit. The same power is available to help us.
- My faith in Christ has been an anchor in times of pain, and connecting to my authenticity, has been instrumental in combating negativity and fear.
- When overwhelmed, I call myself to a small conference and ask; “Beatrice do you want to burn out your precious energy thinking about those who reject you?” Answer: “No I will use my energy to beautify myself spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically.”
- Rejection comes with a buddy called control, it controls thoughts, beliefs, and attitude from a distance. If I embrace it, it will control me to the grave.
- I’m intentional in processing every situation pertaining to the weight of rejection via questions – “Is this real and if it is I’m I responding to it in a healthy way? I am looking at the situation through the eyes of past rejection and pain?”
- I’m grateful to have a true friend who is my role model. His name is Jesus. Over 2,000 years ago he walked through the road of rejection. He knows the pain that comes with it. He was despised and rejected so that we become accepted. Through His love, I choose to accept myself with all my flaws and solicit his help.
When rejected if not careful, we can reject ourselves too. This happens when we surrender our bodies, soul, and spirit to rejection and hopelessness. When we do that we embrace endless pain. Rejection activates pain in our brain, like the pain activated when we experience physical pain.
Strengthening our self-worth is necessary for healing the pain of rejection. We do that when we acknowledge our strengths, stand in front of a mirror and name our best qualities; or keep a journal of our struggles and triumphs.
It is important to get rid of unhealthy relationships, and purpose to interact with people who will motivate and appreciate you; people who will love you unconditionally.
Finally, let’s surrender our pain to God. He can heal us physically, emotionally and mentally. “But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds, declares the Lord.” Jeremiah 30:17
The writer is the CEO/Founder -Pinnacle of Praise Show an outreach wing of Pinnacle of Praise Ministries. She is the Host of Pinnacle of Praise Show(TV) and In the Wings of our Stories(Radio) and the Author of a Woman of Influence: Empowered by God. She is a Minister, a Professional Counselor, a Motivational Speaker and addresses topics on Emotional and Spiritual Health.
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By Beatrice Ndura
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